Most of you folks probably have the same question as Emmalee: HOW ARE YOU HOW ARE THE CATS HOW IS CANADA??!!@!@@!?????

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Hardest weekend ever is over. I did nothing but say goodbye to people and cry. My three year old cousin wrapping her skinny arms around my neck, saying “don’t move” over and over about did me in. I’m sure most of my heart is still broken into one million pieces all over my Grandparents’ driveway.

At least I can stop panicking about it now that it’s done, I guess.

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Buy a cowboy hat as soon as you get to Texas.

The events of last evening:

1.] Ate what will possibly be my second to last plate of Black Bear nachos for a long time.
2.] Visited Amanda, Brodie, and Jenn in a bedroom with birds on telephone wires painted on the walls. For maybe the last time.
3.] Went to 123 and saw many many people from near and far. Most of them for the last time.
4.] Made it through Mikey & Andy’s set, only shedding a few tears during “West Virginia, My Home”.
5.] Danced and sang during Dave Bello with Emmalee for the last time. and I said to you, I’ll never be famous… no one in Canada will sing that song with me!
6.] Made it through Andy’s set with a camcorder in hand, requesting songs for the sister who lives on another continent.
7.] Made it through the Priesthood set, getting a little misty-eyed here and there.
8.] Everyone but Mikey & Sean left the stage, and the two of them sang one of Mikey’s old songs. I shed several tears, but was still in control.
9.] Sean said five terrible words and left the stage. “Good luck in Toronto, Mike”. I lost it.
10.] Mikey played one last song by himself – one he played the first time I ever saw him – and I could barely look at him or take my face out of my hands, only once to look behind me and see Kelly and Rosie in the same state, which compounded the problem.
11.] Contined to cry while (drunk) Ryan (who was also standing beside me during the First Mikey Show) kept yelling “but you’re going to have fun in CANADA”, as if not having fun is the problem. At least he made me laugh.
12.] Pulled myself together about half an hour later.
13.] Went to Caitlin’s house and laid on her roommate’s wonderful fluffy cloudbed with baby Pabst while Mikey whined, “I miss my kiddens, let’s get another one that’s small” over and over.
14.] Got two hours of sleep.

Mikey just came downstairs and said that Cobra is definitely playing one last show in two weeks, so I get to do it all over again.

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On friday, Simone was born.

That night all of our Wheeling friends had a going away party for us up on top of the mountains in Cameron. I made it about a minute and a half without crying – Rosie uncovered a container of West Virginia shaped cookies and I couldn’t handle it. Later, they surprised us with a dvd of photos of Mikey and myself and funny / sad 80s music and I cried and cried and cried and ugh. I can’t do this. I can’t KNOW when I’m going to be saying goodbye to people. I need to always be able to realize afterwards that oh, maybe that was the last time for awhile. We’ll be home every month this fall for weddings, and that’s as long as i’d go without seeing my family while we were in morgantown, but still….. fhiasdfjs;dlkfjsadlk;fajdlk;.

I’m making eight custom coasters for Emm, and I’m very excited about them. The designs are a surprise, so I cannot yet unveil the genius.

Listening: Rilo Kiley : The Execution of all Things
Reading: How to be a Canadian (thanks, Kris)

There is radio coming through our computer speakers very, very faintly. With the volume up high enough that link-clicking is completely deafening and my ear against the speaker, I can barely make out the song.

baby, baby, baby… where did our love go?

Weird.

So on Wednesday we moved to Parkersburg. With hours and hours and hours of help from Caitlin and Ethan (who are amazing and are owed a lifetime’s supply of beers from Mikey & I) and from my mom, we finally loaded almost everything into our car, my dad’s truck, and the too-small uhaul. Dealing with them was a fiasco, but they kindly refunded half of what we paid them when I mentioned that we really wanted to use their services again at the end of summer to go to Canada. There is still a little bit of stuff left in our storage room in the basement of our (now old) apartment building, and we’re coming back to Morgantown tomorrow to see music and get all of that stuff.

I had so many summer project ideas in mind, and something new has topped all of them: GET. RID. OF. STUFF.

I thought we’d gotten rid of soooo much. We took a carload and a half to goodwill, threw out a lot more that was no good. And we still have way too much. My mom says “it’s tough when you’re an artist in a musician and you have so much stuff to make other stuff”, but I don’t feel like that’s a good explanation. I let go of a jug of sand from our honeymoon – that was a good step. We’ll see how much progress we can make.

Time for errands and visiting our baby kiddens at my parents’ house.

I fixed website things that needed fixing with NO help. I feel like a genius. 

We’re months from leaving, and I already know what songs I will want to listen to every time we drive home. Maybe if I listen to these over and over and over this summer, they won’t make me panic when we actually get to Toronto.

• Simon & Garfunkel – Homeward Bound
• John Denver / a bar full of drunks / anyone – Country Roads
• Neil Young – Everybody Knows This is Nowhere
• Neutral Milk Hotel - The King of Carrot Flowers
• Cat Power - He War
• Rilo Kiley – Pictures of Success
• Gillian Welch – One More Dollar
• Jackson Browne – The Pretender
• Against me! – Joy

It’s a weird list. There are hundreds more.

I keep torturing myself with this article.

Dear The Container Store,

Please expand into Canada. I need to organize myself with your wares.

Love,
emily